There is a new road being built on my way to work and it will carry an interstate road designation. It will be part of I-840 that will go around Greensboro. The sign reads Future 840, but I interpret it as a directional sign. I can take this road to the Future.
I received an email reminding me of an upcoming doctor’s appointment that was addressed “Dear Ms/Mr Cohen.” I am one person who is male. I can be addressed as Mr. The email continued, “A member of your household has an appointment with Dr …” I am the only person who lives in my household. I have been seeing this doctor for many years. They should know who I am, who lives in my household and what my name is. The email claims that it was designed to protect my privacy. It comes across as ridiculous and that they don’t know who I am. It does not inspire confidence.
I parked my car on a residential street to go to a pizza place and my car was partially blocking a driveway. A car could still get in relatively easy. It didn’t seem like a big deal. When I came out after dinner, the following note was written on my windows in window paint. “Thank you for not parking in front of driveways.” Really? You’re going to write on someone’s car? Every time someone blocks your driveway? This is not a great way to get your message across.
When I see a potato chip truck or a donut truck driving down the road, I do not picture boxes, bags or racks of food loaded in the truck for easy delivery and stacking on shelves. I imagine that every square inch of the truck is packed full with loose donuts or chips. So when I saw the Icee truck, I didn’t really know what was inside. If the ice and the syrup are combined in the machine before serving, then the truck is just full of red and blue syrup.
In modern romance most communication happens via text and email – or in the case of my girlfriend and me – by phone. We both have long commutes to work and we talk for most of the drive. This means that it took us four months to discover that while I write in all caps with a black pen, she writes in all small letters with a blue pen. Opposites really do attract.
Dear guy at the urinal next to me in the bathroom at a Fortune 500 company:
You are not that important and there is nothing in your life that is so earth-shattering that you have to be looking at your phone while you are peeing at a urinal. Please follow this simple advice: when you take it out, put your phone away.
I would never open a bag of chips from the bottom. It’s just not something you do. You always open it from the top. And my girlfriend doesn’t even notice that she opened it from the bottom.
My connection was delayed through Charlotte and I was forced to run through the airport. I had to get from the end of one concourse to the end of the next concourse. I was meeting colleagues on the plane and they told me I had 7 minutes to make the run. Luckily all the running I do had prepared me for it. It was also helpful that the shoes I wear are really running shoes. Never would’ve made it wearing my boots.
I’ve never played football, but I know what a running back must feel as they surge forward and scan the field for the next hole to run through. In my case though, when people saw me barreling towards them – dragging a rolling suitcase – they got out of my way. If this were football, they would be trying to tackle me. Never would’ve made my flight in that scenario.
I’m continuing to de-clutter my house and get rid of things I don’t need. I’ve become less sentimental about physical things. But digital things? That’s a different story. I collect contacts. I don’t delete pictures. And I take a lot of pictures. I used to collect MP3s of songs. I have exponentially more MP3s than I have cassettes. And I still have those cassettes.
When my Uber driver picked me up for a trip to the airport, I was surprised to see someone sitting in the passenger seat. It was the driver’s wife. I’ve taken a lot of Ubers over the years and I’ve never seen that. I wonder if it’s against the terms of service?