I got a sale email from a company where I had previously purchased something. This copy was hiding at the bottom of the email, below all of the sale items. It is so good that it almost makes me want to buy from them.
We were halfway through building a fort out of your money when we realized… we need a fireplace that we can use to burn money. For warmth. There’s just one problem: if we use cash to build the fireplace, we have less to burn. You see the issue, yes? Excellent. That’s why we’re having this sale. Did you know that was the origin of the term “fire sale”? To describe a promotion that would generate revenue to use as kindling? Look it up. In a book. Then, give the book to us. We won’t burn the book – we’re not monsters. We’ll just pawn the book off and burn the sweet, flammable proceeds. Once we’ve completed our money fireplace, we’ll need to hang something over the mantelpiece. We were thinking of hiring an interior designer for that. Have you ever hired an interior designer? Of course not. Anyway, their rates are ridiculous. This isn’t just a fire sale. It’s also a designer sale. You know what to do. Our fort demands it.email copy