Jeffrey L. Cohen

How do you prepare for someone to come to the end of their life?

Thoughout the fall, and leading up to our Thanksgiving trip to Florida, where I would see my mom, stepdad and my grandfather, I kept hearing health updates about my grandfather. In addition to perpetual headaches and constant nausea, my grandfather has emphysema. After a recent trip to the doctor, my mom was informed that this, or something else respiratory-related would be the cause of his death. It would probably not be soon, but it could be. It could be six months or more. The doctor told her that her father has a very strong heart, and that is why he has lived past his 93rd birthday. My grandmother was one of six sisters, and of the sisters and their spouses, my grandfather is the only one left.

I was glad that we would get the chance to visit with Nat on the Thanksgiving holiday because it would give me the opportunity to say good-bye. 18 years ago I said goodbye to his wife, my grandmother, as I left to go back to school. She passed away during my 14-hour drive back to college. My last conversation with her, one more comment about my needing a haircut, included a goodbye that was truly a goodbye. I prepared myself for a similar experience again.

About 2 weeks ago my grandfather need to leave his apartment in an assisted living community due to his continually falling down. After about a week in the hospital, my mom checked him into a nursing home. He could no longer walk. He could no longer feed himself. He needed help.

I thought I was prepared for seeing him, but I wasn’t. The first night we arrived in Florida, we stopped by the nursing home. He was sleeping in his room. He looked very old. His skin looked like parchment stretched across his skull and he was lying very still. I wasn’t even sure that he was still alive. He had also lost a lot of weight. The only way to describe him was that he looked old.

We came back the next day to visit with him and he was awake and in therapy. Over the next several days, we saw him at least once per day. His degrees of lucidness changed drastically. He always seemed to know us, including the kids, but at times his words, which were slow in coming, just didn’t make any sense.

He was rushed to the hospital the day before Thanksgiving because the nursing home staff was concerned about the tremors and twitches of his arms and head. They had gotten progressively worse during the day. The ER doctor found no medical cause for these, but admitted him to the hospital due to dehydration. We visited him in his hospital room after Thanksgiving dinner and took our traditional family picture. We gathered around his hospital bed and told jokes and had a good time. This was the best he was during our entire trip.

I have not posted the picture because it is too heartbreaking. We are all smiling and Nat is doing his best to smile, but it just doesn’t come across in the photo.

We visited him again when he came back to the nursing home and it was pretty disturbing. He seemed very out of it. The kids did not seem to understand completely what was going on, although, based on his quietness and somber attitude, I’m pretty sure that Peter, like the rest of us, understood that Nat would die in this place. Maybe not soon, but it was coming.

I said my last goodbye to a man who answered to my grandfather’s name, but he was not my Grandpa Nat. He was a very old man in a wheelchair who had trouble speaking and even more trouble understanding what was going on around him. I am waiting for the phone call that could come anytime telling me that this man has followed my grandfather and moved on.

Peter:
Hines Ward Pittsburgh Steelers Jersey (white or black)
Sean May Charlotte Bobcats Jersey (orange)
Brian Roberts Baltimore Orioles Jersey (white)
Shaq Miami Heat Jersey (red)
Byron Leftwich Jacksonville Jaguars Jersey

Grace:
24 Crayons
Magic Wand
Cable Car
Key Chain of a Key
Because of Winn Dixie DVD
A Music CD with America the Beautiful

Grace said to me in the shower: My nose and right nipple itch.

http://www.chapelhillnews.com/sports/story/2838993p-9290130c.html

The Carrboro Falcons came up on the short end of a hard fought 20-19 game. After an undefeated regular season and a first round playoff victory, the Falcons met the SE Guilford Sharks, the division winner of the West. This was the first time this season that each team had played another that was competitive.

The Sharks scored first, after marching down the field in a drive that ate up the whole first quarter. The Falcons came back and scored quickly. They got tough and held the Sharks from scoring again. Halftime score was Sharks 7-6. Peter was a key part of a goal line stand. He played middle linebacker and mixed it up on several nearby plays.

In the second half, Falcons scored first, and were up 12-7. The Sharks scored next and were up 13-12. After never having been down all season, the Falcons came back again and scored. They took the lead 19-13 on Trai Sharp’s 3rd touchdown. This fantastic 8 year old ran for 208 yards. That doesn’t even count the 3 touchdowns that were called back due to holding calls. In addition to being a spectacular football player, he is a great kid. He does what he needs to, never showboats and never complains.

The Sharks ground out 1 more touchdown against tough Falcon defense to make the score 20-19. The Falcons never gave up. They got the ball one more time, and tried their best to move the offense without an exhausted Trai. It wasn’t to be.

After the game the Falcons got runner-up trophies, Carrboro Rec Dept trophies and participation certificates. Several of the kids were clearly upset with the outcome, but by the after game party upon our return to Chapel Hill everyone was back to normal. The coaches and parents were so proud of all the kids. They played their hearts out and never gave up. They started the season as a bunch of 7 and 8 year olds, and ended it as a team.

A parrot that speaks with a Scottish accent, supports Glasgow Rangers and sings Neil Young songs has gone missing.

Eric, a 12-year-old African grey, was last seen flying out of the back door of owner Liz Fagan’s house in Tooting, South London.

Liz, 43, has owned Eric for 11 years and he picked up his Scots accent from her partner Graham Fyfe, 47 — originally from Dundee.

She said: “Eric is very fussy and loves to have a cup of tea every day.

“He’d be very recognisable as he sings Keep on Rockin’ In The Free World by Neil Young and cheers Rangers when they’re on the telly.

“He loves his rock music — especially Neil Young. We just want him home with us.”

The following is a poem that Jonathan Winter’s daughter wrote for her dad on his 60th birthday.

I can picture you fifty years ago and more playing alone,
Creating invisible friends, speaking their dialogues, acting each role.
I’m a lot like you.
I played alone with fantasy characters, questioned my vivid imagination,
But you taught me to be proud to be strange.

I can picture you as an old man still with the imagination of a child,
And me, a middle-aged woman mentally and spiritually playing alongside.
Two special friends, two children, an unusual father and his unusual daughter.